The April 14th release date of Fast 8 (the eighth instalment in the Fast and Furious franchise) is accelerating towards us! This is a series famous for its high-speed thrills and adrenaline-fuelled action, which has only gotten bigger and better with each release.
Most recently the series has given us ski-diving onto a dam and even a fight scene with a tank – all involving cars we can only dream of owning. How can the eighth film possibly do one better than the others? Well, one way to take the series into the next gear, we believe, is to introduce some of the most brilliant (but utterly insane) movie cars that can match the over-the-top action of the Fast and Furious franchise.
The DeLorean – Back to the Future
If you ever want to add some retro sci-fi class into an action movie then the DeLorean is the car for you. It’s a stylish and comfortable car that also doubles as a time machine, allowing you to do your shopping and then gate-crash your mum and dad’s high school graduation.
The DeLorean would definitely inject some style into Fast 8 and would make for some interesting time travelling action plots, but it’s perhaps not the best car for racing. When the DeLorean reaches 88mph, the flux capacitor will be activated and the driver will be sent back through time. So unless the other cars are slower than 87mph, the only way to win would be to travel back to just before the race begins to give yourself a head start. Time travel is always confusing.
The Aston Martin – the Bond series
When it comes to style and class, nothing can beat the Aston Martin. The car of choice for James Bond, this won’t just be any old Aston Martin from the showroom but one full to the brim with high-tech superspy gadgets (no, we don’t think this would count as cheating).
The Aston is literally built for action and is easily able to cruise by any challenge without leaving a scratch on its paintwork, meaning that it would feel right at home in the world of Fast 8. The only downside is that it would arguably steal the spotlight from the rest of the cars!
The Gadget Mobile – Inspector Gadget
If Bond’s Aston is a little too serious for your tastes then why not go for something a little more outrageous? The Gadget Mobile has all the crazy spy gizmos you could dream of like an oil slick to put a stop to escaping foes, pneumatic legs to better scout your surroundings, and a massive jet engine for when you’re running really late.
It has none of the style and class of the Aston – but unlike the Aston however, The Gadget Mobile is also fully autonomous (and pretty sarcastic) meaning that it doesn’t even need a driver! You can just send it off to do a dangerous mission while you enjoy a cup of tea. You’re not putting yourself in any danger but are still getting all the crazy Fast 8 action in a car that is even crazier. What’s there to complain about – apart from a grouchy Gadget Mobile being extremely sarcastic to you when he gets back from that dangerous mission you sent him on?
The Batmobile – the Dark Knight trilogy
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No: it’s the Batmobile! A prototype military vehicle that only a billionaire could afford, the Batmobile is essentially a super-fast and practically indestructible tank painted black and is surprisingly manoeuvrable for its bulky size. The Batmobile is easily able to outrun its competition and tear through anything that stands in its way.
You’d think that its size would mean it wouldn’t squeeze through narrow streets but you’d be wrong; if that should happen, the Batmobile can handily eject a slimmer motorbike to help get into those hard to reach spots. The Batmobile truly is a super car in more ways than one and, let’s face it, there isn’t a film in existence that couldn’t be improved by including this beast. Just imagine the ending of Casablanca if Bogart was convincing Bergman to board the Batmobile instead of a plane. Or even the mountaintop chase scene witnessed in Furious 7. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday someone is going to regret not making that happen.
Ford Anglia – Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Where in the rules does it say that the cars can’t be magical and able to fly? The flying blue Ford Anglia from Harry Potter is bound to conjure up some magic if it were to make an appearance in Fast 8. Where other cars are bound by the laws of gravity and must follow the road, the Anglia can do one better than cut corners by flying across the track (literally).
The Ford Anglia isn’t exactly built for speed or style but with the ability to fly and being able to camouflage itself, the Anglia would be perfect for a stealthier approach. Whatever you do, however, don’t aggravate it or it will throw you out faster than you can say "Look out for that whomping willow!" and drive off without a second thought.
Bumblebee – Transformers
If we’re allowed to include a car that can disguise itself, then it’s only fair to include an alien robot that can disguise itself as a car. Bumblebee is that giant alien robot who can conveniently transform himself into a stylish yellow and black Chevrolet Camaro.
When he’s disguised as an all-American muscle car, Bumblebee could be included in Fast 8 without anybody even realising he was there. He doesn’t only look the part but he is just as fast and brave as you would expect a giant robot pretending to be a muscle car to be. Being a giant robot also gives Bumblebee the advantage of being able to throw any foes out of his way and run using his massive robot legs.
The Doofer Wagon – Mad Max: Fury Road
From a post-apocalyptic Australia comes perhaps the most insane car ever created for the big-screen: the Doofer Wagon from Fury Road. Designed to be the post-apocalypse equivalent of an army’s drummer boy, the Doofer Wagon is comprised of a group of taiko drums on the back with a blind and disfigured guitarist on the front with a whole heap of amplifiers to make sure he will be heard.
Don’t forget the pyrotechnics on the guitar too or the bungee ropes that keep the guitarist in place just in case you wanted more convincing of how insane this car is – if we can even call it a car! The Doofer Wagon is fast and built to traverse off-road terrain but if it were to be in the line-up for Fast 8 it might be a little too conspicuous. When we hear this thing play its battle music, we won’t care so much about how it looks. We just want this riding along with the rest of the convoy doing its own thing to make Fast 8 that bit more insane.
Although these insane movie cars would all make excellent additions to the Fast 8 family, we have to accept that these cars won’t be appearing on the screen together any time soon. But don’t be too disappointed because Fast 8 is sure to have a few surprises up its sleeve when it roars onto Cineworld screens on 14th April 2017. Got your own suggestions as to what cars should appear? Tweet them @Cineworld.
Andy Murray is a writer who blogs for Cineworld as part of our news team.