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A life in miniature – the advantages of being the size of Ant-Man


Ant-Man proves that size really doesn't mean anything. Although Scott Lang (Paul Rudd) is reduced to the size of an insect, he's still able to floor enemies with a single punch and has the advantage of an ant army at his disposal. So that got us thinking – what would we do if we were reduced to the size of an ant? Surely there are all manner of benefits to being a few inches tall…

Through the keyhole 

Locked doors are suddenly no obstacle to you. Forgot your keys (which, considering the fact that you're now half the size of your front door key, is highly probable) and need to get in your house? Well, you could nip through the keyhole, shimmy through the letterbox or even bash your way through the catflap. You may have to fashion an elaborate grappling hook-style device to reach up to the lock though, but it does give you the chance to live out your James Bond fantasies – albeit on a smaller scale.

The big picture 

Although you'd probably be able to get in to see any film for free, a trip to the cinema would involve a ridiculous amount of planning – unless you're planning on walking there, in which case it would probably take you a week. A much better plan is to watch films on your smartphone. Sure, normally it's small and difficult to see, but if you were miniaturised then it would be like having your own private cinema.

Food for thought 

If you normally worry about the amount you spend on food then that stress would be removed if you were miniaturised. A grape could feed you for a week and if you fancied a treat then a single chocolate biscuit could last a month. On the downside, you're unlikely to find any clothes to fit you off the peg so you'd have to get everything tailored – unless you're happy to pick your outfits from the inhabitants of dolls houses.

Catching a ride 

Another area where you'll save a ton of cash is on transport. Whereas before you probably had the expense of running a car or shelling out for public transport, now you can just hop a ride in someone's pocket. Or, for the ultimate in cool, why not hitch a ride on one of the pets. You could even try to train your dog to turn on your command. How cool would that be?

The not-so-great outdoors 

While the idea of exploring the wider world undetected may seem exciting, we do recommend that you don't. Walking through a beautiful wood may be a delightful thing as a full-sized human, the flora and fauna hide a multitude of bugs, creatures and small woodland animals that wouldn't think twice about eating you in a heartbeat. Our advice? Stay indoors, it's much safer.

Ant-Man is due to march into Cineworld on 17 July.